That is why I am scared of heights!

Because I’m taller!

It’s exactly why it’s scary, because the ground is so much further away than it is for you!

You’re like right there.

I’m like, “Oh, it’s like so far!”

Hi everybody!

How y’all doing out there?

Welcome back to my channel!

My name, for those of you who do not know, is Andrew.

So if you are new, welcome!

Right now is the middle of National Novel Writing Month 2020, and I’m on this journey of self-discovery/self-reflection, as it influences the main character of the book that I am writing for National Novel Writing Month 2020.

There’s all sorts of videos about that all over, floatin’ around here, but all information is also over on my website, at

Today I’m going to be continuing my little revisit- Oh! That’s my dog!

My little revisit of my first ever blog, that I had from 2012, when I first did National Novel Writing Month, up until 2014, when I first published my very first book, that has gone on to traumatize me, that I also talk about all over this channel.

This video is gonna see us covering the first half of 2013 from that, because 2013 was the only year that I did a full year’s worth of blogging.

So I’m gonna cut it off in June, at my birthday, and the rest of it will be next week’s video.

I think today is going to be a lot of poetry, but I’m not really sure because I haven’t looked into what these videos are.

So, I mean, I had a great time last week, I’m excited about what I’m going to find today, so without further ado, let’s get Write On In!

All right, welcome back!

Couple other quick things, I guess, before we really get started.

Yes, these are my books I have, yes.

Whatever. No, you can’t have them. Except for this one, but this is the one that I was just talking about that traumatized my ass.

Why can’t you have them?

I need beta readers.

You want them?

Let me know.

Anyway, all right, so again, here we are at the and this first post here, January 2013, is a Ghazal to Love.

Um… I don’t know why it’s tagged “douchebags”, doesn’t sound very lovely, but for those of you who do not know what a ghazal is, poetry is gonna be either next, or after next, once we’re done with books.

Poetry and screenwriting are the next two topics that we’ll be talking about on this show.

So let me know if you have a preference.

But with the ghazal, you have to have, like, the name, so every single couplet has to have the title in it, or the topic in it.

Right? So, every single one is gonna be love, love, love cause that’s the whole topic of it.

So, the first couplet introduces a scheme, and then the rest of them pick up the same scheme, only on the second line.

We don’t have to get into all of that, but this was my first endeavor into poetry on this website, from all that, all those years ago.

So, what else do we got up on here?

Wow! I did a lot in January.

Oh, here okay, yeah, another poem, another poem.

Okay, okay, here’s a couple that I’m gonna love.

2013 Guide to Tipping.

I was new to the service industry back in this, I can already tell you.

But this one, Tall People Problems, I cannot wait to see what I was venting about on Tall People Problems, back in 2013.

Let’s see what this poem is like.

Whoa! Okay!

“Crystal glasses filled
With silver smoke satisfy some souls with
A false hope…”

Who wrote that? Did I?!


“A mockery of evanescent light
Turns our minds into suffocating beasts
As futile footsteps follow us down our
Destined paths. Longing to forget what we
Hope will lie in the past, dead to our thoughts,
One foot falls in front of the other,
A winding path we all follow blindly.
Brutalized by our past anxieties,
It will all be okay when we reach the end.”

Oh! I was so emo!

What is going on?

This one, I remember writing, I… This one was about some injustice, I suppose.

People were making fun of me for my sexuality.

Whatever, I wrote a thing about how people don’t have a right to knock down on anybody, because–

“Walls of segregation crumble down…
Screams of souls long forgotten still
Haunt America’s dreams as you try
To put down those who you deem
‘Not worthy.'”

Mm…I was mad at this one.

I do remember, this is a long… this is a long, angry poem here.

What was my 2013 Guide to Tipping?

Know the difference between service and bill total.

Oh, I see what I’m whining about, because I was at Chili’s.

People want, “we want two waters, and chips, and salsa.”

And they’re not going to tip on anything.

When they want you to go over, and over, again.

Ooh, remember the tip out.

I still say this.

I feel like a lot of people don’t know this, and don’t understand it, and that’s fine.

When you tip a server, they also have to then tip out, so then whatever you tip them, they also have to tip the bussers, and the bartenders, and sometimes the hosts, and the cooks, and everything else.

So whatever you leave them, is actually not going to just them.


I’m not in this industry anymore.

I’m still gonna whine and complain about it, and tip properly.

I just don’t go out, right now, because I can’t afford it.

And that’s what you should do: If you can’t afford a tip, don’t go out to eat.

Never do the verbal tip. Ever.

Yes! I’m here. for. this.

Don’t be like, “You’re the best! Oh, I had such a great time! You’re the best server I’ve ever had in my whole entire life!”

That. Don’t. Pay. My. Bills.

I can’t go up to my freaking landlord at the beginning of the month and be like “Oh so-and-so said I was the best server ever!”

Where’s my rent money? Mmmk.

Because look, servers don’t make, like, money outside of the tips, and a lot of states the servers actually make less than minimum wage, they have “server minimum wage.”

It’s a whole… don’t verbally tip them.

That’s rude.

Remember you might not be the only jerk.


Because you think it might be all right to skip tipping just this once.

But what if that happens all night?

And then, what did I just say?

If you can’t afford it, stay home!

I just said that a minute ago.

Can’t afford it stay home!

Tall People Problems.

Oh, I’m excited!

What are my tall people problems?

It’s time to let the world know what it’s like to be a giant. I am six foot six, so it’s awful.

What are my problems?

I can never hide.

This is truth.

If I’m ever in a crowd, I cannot hide.

The only time that this has ever really come into my favor, is concerts.

Number two.

I have bad peripherals.

Yes! I literally try to explain this to people, and it’s hard.

If you are, like, shorter than here on me, which is pretty common, like this right here is, I think, like, 5’5″ or 5’6″, and like, that’s a whole foot difference from there.

But if you’re here, or below, you’re out of my peripheral vision.

Especially children.

Because I can’t see children, at all.

People like to tell me.

Yes, I…I… do not like that.

“Do you know you’re really tall?”

gasp Wow! I learned something today!

Don’t hit your head!

Oh, I hate it when people tell me that! Ughh.

People always assume you play basketball.


No, by the way, just to answer that question, cause I’m sure I’m gonna get asked.

Have I ever? Yes.

What did I play? Water polo. And I swam.

People don’t understand my back problems!

No this is the truth, no this is the truth, you don’t get it.

And for me, personally, too, I grew, like, I was 5’2″ in fifth grade, and I was 6’4″ in eighth.

So I just like shooomph really, really, high, and my body did not like that.

I get made fun of for being scared of heights.

“You’re so tall! How can you be scared of heights?”

What did I say?

I would say the same exact thing right now.

The ground is a lot further away from me than it is from you, okay?

That is why I am scared of heights, because I’m taller.

It’s exactly why it’s scary, because the ground is so much further away than it is for you.

You’re like right there, I’m like, “Oh, it’s like so far!”

I have to look good.

Because I can’t hide.

I always feel like all eyes are like on me, sometimes.

And then nowadays, when people keep calling me Tom Ellis, I can’t… like I have to look nice, I feel.

But keep calling me Tom Ellis, it’s fine.

I don’t see it, but I take it.

My legs are the size of a hobbit.

That is the truth.

My… my… the length of my leg would be the height of a hobbit.

And something that I would add to this now, would be public transportation, buses, planes, all that shiznite.

I think that being this tall should be something of a disability.

That’s all I’m saying.



That was a word that I had come up with!

When I was talking about, like, thoughts, like, noggin, like, nogginisms, like random thoughts that I had.

But this was just a walk, that I had around my house with some cool pictures that I took.

Fear is the stimulant for nearly every emotion.


Oh, hey!

This is my first chapter!

Yeah, this was my first chapt… like my first, first of this.

And this was before this even.

This was yeah, this was way before.

Ugh, ew.

No, I don’t like reading that.

I don’t think it’s very good at all.

“A Writer’s Guide to Harry Potter.”

That’s so funny.

I never knew that that was even a book that I read.

But apparently I read… I enjoyed it so much I wrote an entire ass blog post about it, okay.

The Best Writing Advice I’ve Gotten (Thus Far).

What was that in 2013?

I wrote a novel, now what?

Sit around on your ass for eight years, and cry about how much you hate your life, and then come to YouTube, with hopes?

Call yourself a writer.

This is actually very, very, important.

And I…This is for almost, like, anything.

With this YouTube channel or whatever, COVID’s happened for everyone, but this has been a way for me to create a job for myself, I guess, in a lot of ways.

And so it’s the same as with this kind of idea, of just “call yourself a writer.”

It’s like, create the job you want, create the career you want.

Do… like, create something that makes you show up every day, and call yourself that.

Because as soon as you start to identify is when it’ll happen.

There’s a difference between narcissism and confidence.

This is actually something that I still struggle with.

I’ve always, I guess, kind of defaulted into “self-deprecation,” because I’ve never understood the difference between narcissism and confidence.

Because I would like to be confident, in myself, and in my work.

But I also do not want to be full of myself, or thinking that I’m better than anyone, or anything.

And I’ve always really struggled with that, and so that’s always why I just default into self-deprecation.

Experiment with the senses.

Yes, I agree.

Do your research, your reader will know if you don’t.

Yes, I agree.

And I did that because the first time I wrote a fantasy book and I had a bunch of people working around in the castle, and I never even researched a single castle, like, role, and yeah… pretty obvious.

Okay, well, that was pretty good writing advice though I guess, from 2013.

I would say that there would be a lot that I would add on to that, and then my answer would just be like, well… this channel.

Oh, communication.

I got… my major is in communication so I definitely…

Oh, my thoughts on time! Ooh, I’m interested to see that.

His middle name is Hagan?

Really, is that still his middle name?

This is my main character from this book, and I am just, right now, discovering that his middle name is Hagan.

Okay, oh, his name means “dark warrior.”

That is actually really perfect due to his complications of being a complicated ass.

What are my thoughts on time?

Oh, this is very short.

“Time is a perception of your own reality. Ever existent, never changing, uniquely experienced by all.

While to one a day, hour, or week may take forever, another may blink and it’s already gone.

Does this change time itself, or merely one’s acknowledgement of it?”


What’s next?

gasp Wait, hold on.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, my God.


Okay, we’re gonna get into this page here in just a minute.

Here’s another poem, because I was definitely into the poetry this… this year, and so this is another, like, why I want to get poems going on, on this channel.

Oh this is another… What’s this nogginism?

I like these little nogginisms that I had.

“I am the center of history.”

Okay, I’ll take it.

Here’s…I’m just going… What is this one?

“We are constantly making history, although we are not consciously aware of it.

We only live life one millisecond at a time before it’s gone.

The beginning of the post is already history, for you, the reader, and for me, the writer.

We can only absorb this information one letter at a time before the beginning of the word becomes part of the past as well.”


“We can never fully live in the moment, because every second is already in the past.

Live for the milliseconds that pass by, under the radar.

Make history.

Put your name down where you won’t be forgotten.

Don’t let the past control who you’ll be in the future.”


That kid in 2013 was like, “Hi, I’m gonna write this for 31-year-old Andrew, because one day I’m gonna need this again.”

That was cool.

Proper Grammar in the Workplace.

I’m pretty sure this is just a vent.

I don’t care if you’re a restaurant manager.

I don’t care if you’re a mechanic.

I don’t care if you work for NASA.

Learn the difference between your and you’re.

Ooh yeah. See I… yeah these are… Oh, really?

Oh, hey!

This is when I met… uh, Christopher Moore.

That’s cool.

I forgot that I met him.

Oh, but… see okay, so this is what I was venting about, though, was because at the signing of his thing there was this… this woman who was just too close, up onto my… up on me.

So I needed her to get on that… up off of me, because I needed to be there for what I was there for, and not to be like rubbed up on, up on, you know what I’m saying?

Okay so, What Your Server is Really Thinking and What Your Barista is Really Thinking.

These… these are a little series that I did, I don’t know how many more we’re gonna see on this vlog, or if it’s gonna be next week’s reactions that there’s more of.

Now I just wonder what it would be like if I had written, or if I do write, like, What Your Bartender is Really Thinking.

So, these were just thoughts that when, because I have been a barista, a server, a bartender, a busser, a host, like, I have pretty much done everything in the hospitality industry.

So that is definitely where this came from.

I had, like, barista brain, and barista says, server brain, server says, all that kind of stuff, and I just wrote up all these little scenarios that were pretty much based on real stories that happened, and like, what I would say.

Like this: “Are you new?” and then my brain would say “Am I new, why because you’re trying to pull a [ __ ] fast one on me or what?” but what I say is “Oh no, I have been here for almost a year now.”

Stuff like that.

And I had so much fun writing these.

I had a whole website actually dedicated to these.

Okay, so this is going to be the last… Oh see, this one’s going to be next time, What Your Non-Starbucks Barista is Really Thinking.

Writer Problems.

What were my writer problems in 2013?

Silver Linings Playbook.

I just saw on Netflix last night, this movie just popped up, and I was like, “Hey, I think I wrote a review on that on this website!”

And then I was like, “I wonder if I’m gonna see it tomorrow?”

And here it is!

And you know it’s a good movie when as soon as the credits start rolling you immediately go back to the beginning to watch it.

And that was how I felt about this movie.

I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell.

That was a funny movie.

Lord of the Rings.

Harry Potter.

Black Swan.

I watched Black Swan four times the day that it came out on DVD.

I loved that movie.

Loved writing reviews back in the day.

I kind of want to, like, get into that again.

I know I’m going to be doing book reviews, but if people are into, like, movie reviews, and music reviews, and stuff like that as well, I will totally get write on in, back to writing those.

Okay, so you let me know!

What’s going on in here?

Writer Problems.

Okay, what’s going on?

This is the same kind of thing that I was just saying and with the What Your Server is Really Thinking, this is the stuff that people say to writers when they…

All you do is sit at your computer and type all day.

Yeah and that’s exhausting.

You can just self-publish to Kindle, that’s easy, anyone can do that.

Yeah, but not anyone can do that well.

It’s not really a job, it’s more like a hobby.

Um, have you ever met Stephen King or Brandon Sanderson or Joe Abercrombie or this… don’t even get me started.

Step above a hobby, step below a job.

Oh, unless published, a writer is unrecognized.

Still kind of how I feel.

I’m so stupid.

Oh, my gosh!

Carpal tunnel!


“I’m 23-years-old and I’m already exhibiting symptoms of carpal tunnel.”


I’m so dumb.

“I’m 23 and I have carpal tunnel.”



I like this little image though.

“Carpal tunnel? Write rules with teeth and bloodied gums.”

Writers need some more r-e-s-p-e-c-t.

We make your life interesting.

This is the truth.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to me.

Okay, what’s next?

What Your Server’s Really Thinking About Parties.

I actually might read a couple from this one.

“Excuse me, I don’t like sourdough, are there any other bread choices you have?”

No, fooker.

No, fooker beggars can’t be choosers.

You’re not paying for this anyway so shut the [ __ ] up.

“Sorry, I’m just really thirsty.”

Oh, here’s one that I feel this is just… Wow.

This just triggered me right now.

“What’s taking so long?”

Don’t order four 12 ounce steaks well done and then wanted to come out in just, like, a minute.

Ooh. Oh. That was a trigg… trigger warning for any servers out there.

I like, literally, my hands just cramped.

That is hilarious.

Oh hey, the beginning of I…I talked about my little zombie apocalypse story from last week.

I was starting to pop there…

More Server Problems: Happy Hour and Impatience.

Oh, Query Letter Help.

What was that like in 2013?

The Stupid Question.


That’s a collaboration piece with Jeff!

Is he still alive?!

Jeff at Content Unrelated.

No, he’s not there anymore!

He was so funny.

I loved him so much.

We did a couple of collaborative posts like this together.

That was a more server… What Your Server is Really Thinking.

Those are funny.

Those are probably the funniest things I’ve ever written in my life.

Oh, wow!

This is when I was trying to write a query letter.

I never sent these out.

I’ve never sent a query letter before.

I have no idea what would happen if I did.

Oh, this is another one with Jeff.

I’ve… I just loved Jeff so much.

So triggered!

“Do you even know what a Tom Collins is?”

Oh my God, I need to get out of this post.

That is so funny.

But that is… those are the last of that from that year.


That is so funny.

Ah! There’s been so much that I’ve done.

And it was cool to see some of the old poetry and stuff that I used to do on here.

I’m kind of looking forward to that on this channel.

But that was really fun, and I’m kind of excited to see some more of these on the next one.

I think we’re coming kind of to a close.

So, the next post of these is probably going to be, like, the last long one, and then the last one that I do from when I quit this blog, is probably gonna be when I get, like, emotional and stuff.

I don’t know, I actually cried this morning already, so that’s awesome.

As of Sunday, I will have officially cried on YouTube now.

That’s cool, but that’s writing vlog stuff, and that’s, like, when I’m getting personal about how this is all going, as far as the writing.

This reaction stuff is all just different.

I had fun with that today.

I’m really looking forward to doing more of my video reactions.

Those are on Thursdays, and those are from the first times that I tried to make video writing advice, and I just dragged 2014 Andrew through the mud.

So it’s fine.

I can’t wait to do it again, this week.

So I hope you enjoyed!

If you haven’t subscribed, consider it, or don’t, I don’t know.

Let’s hang out.

I’ll see you all in a few days.

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